So after 4 months of maternity leave, I had to go back to work on 1 August. My baby is only 3 months and I knew leaving him in the care of someone else would be one of the most difficult things in my life to do. I am lucky to have my mother-in-law looking after him. She has been around him since he was born and only has his best interest at heart but as a mother my heart was still aching.
The first few days went better than I expected. I didn’t ball my eyes out. Luckily for me, the mountain of work that was waiting for me at the office kept my mind busy all day. Granny sends me pictures and updates of what he has been upto and that keeps me going. Every morning I get him up to drop him at granny’s he is all smiles amd when I say goodbye, he is always smiling. Almost to say “Don’t worry mommy. I’ll be fine”
It was never my ideal situation to have to work full time after having kids but life has a funny way of showing you who’s boss. I wanted to work from home like my mom and be there for my kids 24/7. That may not be possible now but I am slowly working on a way to get there. I try and ease my guilty conscious by telling myself that I need to work hard to ensure a better future for my little boy and also to teach him independence. So far it has kinda worked but today is one of my worst days. I miss him more than ever. I suppose pictures and Linkin Park will have to carry me through this day. 😢